Culture War Glossary

Balance:
Describes a state of affairs in which you are winning. See also Fairness.

China:
Somewhere very far away.

Compromise:
An idiotic manoeuvre where you concede some of what the Ingroup wants, which is sacred and precious beyond measure, and grant some of what the Outgroup wants, which is twisted and vile beyond belief. It is unclear why anyone ever attempted to do this.

Culture:
The exact nature of Culture is unclear, but it is inferred from the statements of Culture Warriors to be an opaque, coloured, volatile, immiscible, flammable and strongly-odorous liquid with powerful psychoactive effects.

Culture War:
The current state of affairs regarding Culture. Believed to have been started in early 2002 by the Bush administration as part of a general policy of starting unwinnable abstract conflicts.

Culture Warrior:
An active participant in the Culture War.

Degeneracy:
People liking things that you don’t like.

Democracy:
A means of governance that functions well so long as it has Fairness and Balance but sometimes allows Degeneracy.

Echo Chamber:
Dwelling-place of the Outgroup and center of their crazed religion.

Elite:
An educated member of the Outgroup.

Expert:
An educated member of the Ingroup.

Fairness:
Describes a state of affairs in which your enemies are losing, and more importantly, suffering. See also Balance.

Immigration:
A powerful kind of magic with contradictory capabilities. A great cause of conflict in the Culture War.

Ingroup:
A diverse coalition of free-thinkers like you, doing their best to save the world from the Outgroup.

Islam:
Primary cause of conflating high odds of X given Y, with high odds of Y given X.

Liberalism:
A philosophy that espouses individual freedom; formerly quite popular in The West.

Magnanimous:
Describes a winner from the Ingroup.

Media:
Believed to be a mind-control device of some kind, controlled by the Outgroup.

Narrative:
A method of belief formation in which you start with what you want to conclude, and work backwards from there to fill in facts, statistics etc.

Neoliberalism:
Liberalism, but bad (e.g. when it’s being advocated for by the Outgroup).

Neutral:
Someone who says they’re from the Outgroup, but shares all the opinions of the Ingroup.

Nuclear War:
Definitely impossible according to all sides of the Culture War. No precautions are required to prevent this, because it can’t happen.

Outgroup:
A tribe of Them, dominated by groupthink, who hate everything good (such as the Ingroup) and are deliberately trying to destroy it.

Racism:
A special kind of evil of which only the Outgroup are capable.

Russia:
Harmless.
Mostly harmless.

Science:
One of The West‘s bad habits, which it is doing its best to break.

Smug:
Describes a winner from the Outgroup.

Truth:
See Narrative.

Virtue Signalling:
Someone from the Outgroup saying something nice. Obviously they can’t possibly have meant it, so it was clearly a ploy to try to seem good.

The West:
Countries associated with the Culture associated with white people.

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Culture War Glossary

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